Dear Whoever is up there

Hey,it's me the girl with nothing but herself...I want to ask you something....why? Why me? Why do I have to live with the fact that I never get what I want...I understand that I can't always get what I want...but please this one time grant my dead soul a wish...I wish for once to have what I want...to feel like an important thing in this world not just a piece of trash blown by the wind of life....You know it is strange for people my age to think about death...but I do...I think about the moment I die and my funeral every single day...but of course not even my funeral won't be the way I want it to be because my destiny is upside down...because you exist...I blame you for this